maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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