no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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