this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
