The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
