i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
