haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
