it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
