I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
