He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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