she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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