What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
