Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I know her cup size but not her name....
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
