My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
