white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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