he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
