why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
