Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
