i permit you to call me
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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