I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
