I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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