just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
