My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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