Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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