I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
