The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
