I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
