and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
