i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
