Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
