does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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