If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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