and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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