its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
