he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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