I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
