Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
