Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
