Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
