yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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