U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
