You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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