I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
