I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
