I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I supernannyed him into submission
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
