he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
