I hate all girls vehemently.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
