I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
