okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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