Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize