oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
