They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize