Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
