shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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