Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i came on her dog
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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