I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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