if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
