The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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