the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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