It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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