and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
