Christians are straight up FREAKS
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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