i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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