Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
